How to Raise an Only Child

Raising an Only Child

Raising an only child doesn't mean parenting just one type of child.

When you have an only child, it can be tempting to fill every quiet moment, provide constant entertainment, solve problems before they arise, or worry that your child is somehow missing something because they don't have siblings.

But an only child doesn't need a parent to be a built-in playmate every minute of the day.

In this guide, I share some of the lessons I learned raising 12 children, and how many of those same ideas still apply when you're raising just one.

We'll talk about encouraging independence, giving children age-appropriate responsibilities, allowing them to entertain themselves, providing opportunities to spend time with other kids, and resisting the pressure to make their childhood perfect.

We'll also talk about something I think is especially important for parents of only children: remembering that your child is still your child.

They don't need to become your best friend, your constant companion, or the center of every adult decision simply because they are the only child in the family.

Children need room to make choices, get bored, solve problems, make mistakes, develop friendships, and gradually discover who they are apart from their parents.

That doesn't mean giving them less attention or love. It means loving them enough to let them grow.

This isn't a guide about trying to recreate a big family for an only child. And it certainly isn't suggesting that every only child or every parent is the same.

It's about taking some of the lessons that naturally happen in larger families—sharing, responsibility, independence, patience, compromise, and learning that the world doesn't always revolve around you—and finding practical ways to teach those same lessons in a family of three.

As with everything I share, these aren't rules. They're ideas from a mom who raised 12 very different children, made plenty of mistakes along the way, and learned that sometimes one of the best things we can do for our children is give them enough love to feel secure, and enough space to become themselves.

You're not raising an "only child." You're raising a person who will someday need to confidently make their own way in the world.

— Mama Gigi