The Self-Advocate’s Guide
A Trauma-Informed Workbook for Survivors Navigating Abuse, Divorce & Self-Advocacy

A comprehensive trauma-informed workbook designed to help survivors organize documentation, understand manipulation tactics, prepare for divorce, and reclaim their voice with clarity and strategy.

Created by Cheri Shandra, a nationally credentialed victim advocate and trauma-informed practitioner.

You are not “too emotional.”
You are navigating trauma, confusion, survival, and systems that often misunderstand abuse.

The Self-Advocate’s Guide was created to help survivors move from overwhelm to organization.

This workbook combines trauma-informed education, practical self-advocacy tools, emotional regulation support, documentation guidance, and strategic preparation for individuals navigating abusive relationships, separation, divorce, coercive control, and high-conflict dynamics.

Whether you are:

• questioning your reality

• preparing to leave

• co-parenting through conflict

• documenting abuse

• organizing legal information

• trying to understand DARVO or reactive abuse

• rebuilding your confidence after manipulation

…this guide was written with you in mind.

What’s Inside

✔ Understanding trauma & nervous system responses
✔ Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses
✔ Emotional & psychological abuse education
✔ DARVO and reactive abuse education
✔ Documentation & evidence organization strategies
✔ Digital safety guidance
✔ Divorce preparation support
✔ Co-parenting through complexity
✔ Safety planning tools
✔ Incident log templates
✔ Preparation worksheets to meet with Legal Professional
✔ Healing affirmations & emotional support

Who This Is For

This workbook is for:

• survivors of emotional, psychological, narcissistic, or domestic abuse

• individuals preparing for divorce or custody proceedings

• people navigating coercive control

• survivors struggling to organize their experiences under stress

• those seeking clarity, validation, and practical strategy

Created By

Cheri Shandra
Nationally Credentialed Victim Advocate
Accredited Trauma-Informed Practitioner
California State Bar MCLE Provider #20906

Important Disclaimer

This workbook is an educational and organizational support resource. It is not legal advice, therapy, or a substitute for professional legal counsel or mental health care.