How To Stop Chasing Safety
$19
The Recognition Framework for Moving Beyond Fear, Control, and the Need for Certainty
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Prefer a physical copy?
How To Stop Chasing Safety is also available in paperback on Amazon.
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What if the thing you call safety is actually control?
We are taught to feel safer by getting more certainty, more reassurance, better answers, clearer relationships, fewer symptoms, and more control over what happens next.
But when your ability to feel okay depends on securing a specific outcome, your life can slowly become organized around chasing safety.
You check. You explain. You overthink. You prepare. You seek reassurance. You try to make the right decision. You monitor what other people are doing. You keep trying to resolve the thing that feels unresolved.
Not because something is wrong with you.
Because your system has learned that safety lives somewhere outside of you.
This book offers another way.
How to Stop Chasing Safety introduces the Recognition Framework, the foundation of my work on self-safety, autonomy, healing, relationships, and self-authorship.
Instead of teaching you how to control your reactions more effectively, the framework helps you recognize what is happening before fear, urgency, guilt, uncertainty, or the need for relief takes over.
You’ll learn how to:
recognize the safety-seeking loop while it is happening
understand what sits underneath people pleasing, reassurance seeking, avoidance, control, overthinking, and the need for certainty
stay with difficult emotions without immediately trying to get rid of them
notice when your attention has moved outside of you in search of relief
return to what is actually yours
make choices without needing to secure a specific outcome first
build self-safety without becoming detached or self-sufficient
The goal is not to stop reacting.
It is not to become perfectly regulated.
It is not to stop needing people, stop caring about outcomes, or pretend the outside world does not matter.
The shift is learning that you can have an uncomfortable experience without immediately abandoning yourself in order to make it go away.
From there, something changes.
You can stop organizing your life around preventing fear, uncertainty, disappointment, or discomfort.
You can respond to what is actually happening.
You can choose.
If you have spent years trying to heal, regulate, understand, fix, or control your way into finally feeling safe...
This book may help you see the pattern underneath all of it.
You do not need to know exactly what happens next in order to remain with yourself through it.
Prefer a physical copy?
How To Stop Chasing Safety is also available in paperback on Amazon.
GET IT ON AMAZON
Christy Annis
I read 3-4 chapters today and was able to pull myself out of a loop. There was a line in the first or second chapter that was a mic drop. No one has every been able to explain my situation to me like that before. Thank you!
Rob
I got this book and some of the pages reached out and smacked me in the face - in a good way. THANK YOU for writing it and getting it out there.