Helping Your Child After Handovers

Helping Your Child After Handovers: The Information Pack

Calm, practical support for when they come home from the other parent

If your child comes back from their other parent's and something feels different, you're not imagining it. Maybe it's a meltdown out of nowhere. Maybe it's coldness, clinginess or questions that don't sound like their own words. And you're left wondering what to say, what not to say, and how to help.

I've lived this. This information pack is built around one idea: you can't control what happens in the other home, but you have a huge amount of influence over what happens the moment they walk back through your door.

It's practical, it's calm, and it's written for the moments you actually need it.

What's inside (35 pages)

• Why handovers are so hard, and the window of tolerance explained simply
• What might be going on, and what to do if it's more than tiredness
• The golden rule: why you don't interrogate at the door, and what to do instead
• A four step re-entry routine you can start tonight
• How to handle meltdowns, and the words that help (scripts for the hard moments)
• A regulation toolkit for your child: breathe, move, ground and create
• Age by age guidance, including a teen version that doesn't feel babyish
• A printable feelings chart for the fridge
• Bedtime and the morning after
• Christmas, birthdays and holidays
• When handovers themselves are the problem
• What to do if your child doesn't want to go back, or talks about the other home
• Telling school, with a note you can adapt
• Looking after yourself, so you can stay steady
• A printable handover log, a daily checklist and a one page quick reference
• A plain English glossary and when to seek extra help

Who it's for
Mums whose children go between two homes and come back unsettled, and who want to respond in a way that helps.

Good to know

• It's a digital information pack (PDF). Print the checklist, chart and log pages if that helps.
• It's based on lived experience and general child development principles. It isn't therapy, medical advice or legal advice.
• It's written for England. If you're worried about your child's safety, it explains who to contact.