The In-The-Moment Reset
£9
What to do when you feel yet another argument coming
Somewhere between the night feeds, the laundry that never ends and the mental load that lives entirely in your head, you've started having rows over a wet towel on the bed, and then spending five minutes alone in the kitchen wondering what's wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. Gottman's research found that around two thirds of couples become less happy together in the first three years after a baby. Almost nobody says so out loud, aside from a snarky comment about the husband being useless perhaps, which is why everyone assumes they're the only one.
This is one technique from my method, CLEAR. It's what to do in the few seconds between the anger rising and you saying the thing you'll feel awful about for the rest of the evening. You can do it with a baby on your hip, in the middle of chaos, without needing him to change first.
I'm a relationship coach and a certified trauma professional, and I wrote this because I needed it. My husband still leaves dirty laundry on the floor next to the washing machine 🫠 but what's changed is what happens in me when he does.
What's inside
A one-page version to screenshot or stick on the fridge, for when you need it fast
The three steps in full, and why each one works
Why this is happening to you right now, and why it hits harder than it would have two years ago
What to do about the shame spiral afterwards, so one bad moment doesn't turn into an awful evening
An honest note on when you need more than coaching, and exactly where to go instead
It's written for mums whose relationship was good before the baby. If things were already breaking down beforehand, it isn't the right fit, and I'd rather be straight about that now.
12 pages, PDF, yours to keep ☺️